Like the Dow Jones Industrial Average...

Over the past month I have experience great mental and emotional highs and lows. I had trouble laying in bed at night trying to fall asleep. I have much hope for awesome things. Maybe what it is I feel is the desire for those things. Also those hours are the ones I have for reflection. When the kids are sleeping my life boils down to me and a very silent house. I am restless.

This explains the blog silence for almost two months. Several things have happened in the past couple of months of note: a) actual divorce filing b) my vacation to Chicago c) I have decided to pursue a social life d) I joined a church e) I joined a single parents' group at that church.

The church and the single parents group has been a surprisingly enjoyble and even more surprisingly - truly comforting - force since I started attending. The church services are extremely non-traditional, although definitely Christian. No one has put out judgemental or exclusionary vibes, or asked me what I belive. In return for showing up I have the opportunity to join some volunteering plans around the holidays and meet other single parents for a meal and conversation every other Sunday afternoon. Older kids babysit younger kids and we discuss a chapter from a book about putting a life together for yourself and your wards after finding yourself alone in this role. I wept through my reading of the first chapter. These other folks I listen to have great humor and just take care of business and inspire me to keep on with all that I need to do with great strength and confidence.

Again and again I am blown away by how well-trodden all this territory is, how completely common this experience is that I am living. I'm also blown away with how much I have tried to live my life as an island for so long. Just joining casual groups of other people and getting out there is incredibly powerful.

Goodbye Summer

Today is Labor Day, and Darin picked up the kids for a day of car shows and father-child bonding (hopefully) bright and early. I headed out for a jog to the elementary school, around the track and back. Leaving the house I checked out the morning glory vines, as I have been doing all summer long. The kids and I planted these seeds in April, and it took until August for the plants to even start their journey up the trellis. We watered faithfully, but pretty much it has been a bust. Then today, September first, we achieve actual morning glories.

Today marks the end of summer, and the summer has been very long. It has been my first summer living on my own in years. I've spent time mapping out a new future for myself, mentally embracing my new realities, and setting new goals. Maybe the summer feels long because all that came before separating from Darin feels incredibly distant. Hasn't it always been this way? Hard to believe the way it was.

IT IS STINKIN' HOT

It has been SO HOT this week. So far this summer has not been so bad, and we have made up for it this week. All I wanted to do yesterday and today was lay on the couch under the spinning ceiling fan and drift in and out of naps.

To top it off there has been much too much eating for me this week. THe combination can't be good for snapping me out of this lethargy.

Yesterday was Papa's birthday and Janette, Mike and Sean were in town. I did participate in a group Wii bowling tournament. Does that count as activity??

Happy Birthday Baby Boy

You are still my baby sweetie, even though you are a big old handsome brute of a 2 year old. And still you are a bright ray of love and laughs in my life. Now you can say "BIG BOY" when I ask you if you are mommy's baby. And you can flash a sign when I ask how old you are.

I love you so much Quinn, happy birthday!!!

Just a Typical Day at Home

A picture of what Mia called "our soldier party"

Mia and Quinn

"Bye Bye Treats!" -- Quinn to the very cool girl behind the counter as we walked out of Godiva Chocolatier

"She was even bigger than you are and that is what made me curious of her." -- Mia, describing the very tall mom of her friend Myles.

Joe and Casie Rock,

or...
Ode to a Clean Garage part deux

whereas:
- we've been having crazy electrical storms lately and it knocked out the power to my garage refrigerator at some point early last week;
- the power to my house never went out and I was unaware of the warming refrigerator/freezer for several days;
- in the appliance I thought there was only beer, mustard, and ice cream sandwiches there was in fact my Christmas turkey from my job spewing purtified turkey liquid for days undetected;
- this horrifying discovery was witnessed by Joe and Casie, no matter if that witness was for sympathy or for morbid curiosity;
- Joe reconnected my refrigerator and began a re-freezing process;
- immediately upon the discovery of said rotten flesh Joe and Casie told me they would be back the following evening to help clean up;
- they did in fact show up and what could have taken all night took about 30 minutes;

it is hereby asserted and resolved:
THAT: Joe and Casie ROCK
THAT: I owe them big time
THAT: I would suck as a person with forensic responsibilities
THAT: I do not need a second refrigerator

love you guys.