It's Sunday night. I've spent much of the past week looking for rental houses due to a sudden urgent urge to get a bigger place. I don't need a better place. The duplex is great. Love the location, love the price, and the fixtures are good enough. But it's getting harder and harder to keep the kids in here without them at each others throats. I send them to bed at 8pm, and they're still rockin and rollin back there at 10:30pm. I need three bedrooms and I need a yard.
So far, no luck on the new house front, but I'm not giving up yet. Mia starts kindergarten in the fall, so I need to lock down at least the elementary district very soon.
Lately I've been feeling so very blech. My job has lost its shine of late. More than that it feels precarious. Frustration level is very high. I am thinking bad thoughts like being alone though what is left of my 30's. I have set goals for my health and my finances and my career and everything since getting a divorce, so as to ward off complacency and deterioration. I have a good savings, I have been actively running for almost a full year, and have been researching graduate school programs. But I still feel a certain despairing feeling creep up on me when the day is done and I have the house to myself. I feel worn out for no discernable gain. Like my days are passing unremarked upon and that is turning into my life.
Things that make me feel better:
- packing for work the next day
- watching Oprah
Things that I do instead
- watch TV I don't care about
- surf the internet