Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Double Standard



We had a visitor over the weekend. Hopped up on our windowsill and hung out for a couple of hours.


The kiddos were very amused by the kitty. Mavis, I think, begrudged it the freedom it has to hang out on our front porch all day.



Tuesday, November 13, 2007

New Birthday - Gratefully

I have been remiss lately on the blogging. Since my surgery the weather has turned cooler, it has been getting dark obscenely early; I have been sluggish and accomplishing little outside the normal rotation of meals, laundry, housecleaning, and general ruminating.

Next week is Thanksgiving... we have been living here in the new abode for three months and really it feels like a lot longer. I am sad that I am no longer a homeowner. I've been mourning it and a few other big things in my life this year. But letting go has also been a relief. I don't think about the house I thought I'd raise my children in almost at all these days.

The year is ending, and so is a phase of my life. I learned a lot over the past four or five years. Sounds so silly but I have never valued habits, consistency, and setting goals. I think I was confident that I had ability and personality and a good attitude-- serendipity would supply the rest. Maybe that's just an extension of that typical invincibility of youth.

The truth is at 32 years old I am for the first time getting methodical and systematic about what I want and how to accomplish it. My new year starts with my birthday and I've already started working on my resolutions.

Don't worry, I'm not going to become a sappy freaky self-help preachy do we have to hang out with her type of girl. If I do, give me a little slappin' around. I am just going to be focused. Things have crystalized.

I have so much to be thankful for this holiday and so much to do this coming year. I'm ready!

Monday, November 5, 2007

Grocery Shopping is Important

Since my surgery we haven't been on a regular schedule of making food list, doing food shopping, doing food preparation.

The result? Much fast food and crappiness. Result of that? Feelings of crappiness and more eating of crappy food. Badness all around.

It stopped today - got back on Spark and in my calorie range. Actually did my strength exercises and walked at lunch. Casie and I did the fitness 5k walk from Bass Pro Shops to the Meyer Center on Saturday, and halfway through I hit a wall. Became pooped. Granted I was pushing a double stroller filled to capacity, but I just really wish I could get back on track.

What to do for inspiration? Anyone?

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Gallbladder Recovery

Tomorrow morning marks two weeks since I've had my gallbladder removed. I confess that I have not been an ideal patient. As I remember it through my morphine/benedryl/demerol induced fog, I was instructed by a person in scrubs that I should not lift more than 15 pounds for two weeks.

Quinn weighs 25 pounds. Friday I caved in. For over a week Grandma and Grandpa had been pulling childcare duty and I MISSED my babies. So I picked them up from daycare Friday and have been with them since.

My guts have been speaking to me a little. But I'm so happy to be back with them, and SO relieved to have the operation done. The surgeon says all looked good to him visually, and the procedure went smoothly. Darin and Mom were waiting for word from him after the surgery, and he came out with two sheets of pictures of my gallbladder. Eeeww! But also cool!

Thank goodness it is done. Now I just need to make myself rest more. Follow up, complete with pathology reports, is November 1st. Keep me in your thoughts.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Where a kid can be a kid




More pics to come, but here are a few of the Chuck E Cheese experience.






Thursday, October 11, 2007

An Angelic evening of Dancing, Telling of Tales





Mia got an angel constume from Colleen and Phil in the mail tonight. She put it on and immediately felt like dancing.




We had a great time. After Darin went to work, I packed up Angel Mia and her little brother Quinn and took a trip to a party store. Little toys and trinkets were purchased for the Chuck E. Cheese party on Saturday. I found a big ol' fabric hat, HUGE and dome like for Quinn that was a king hat. I thought it would be perfect for him to be Prince Charming to Mia's Cinderella. But for TWENTY DOLLARS I just couldn't do it.

The next errand was to Hollywood video to return some videos. I write this all to you, dear blog readers, to express that I was cruising town with the kids for a good amount of time tonight. Each car ride was narrated fully by my girl.

She told me stories about monsters, caves, her family heroically shooting said monsters to save her, and all stories included Auntie Casie and Uncle Joe. In one story they were moving to a new city and packed up all their beds, chairs, and "furnitures" into a big truck that was really hard to drive. They were reading a map and did not see the red light and drove right through the light. Then they had to make sure they were more careful next time.

At home the stories continued, this time pretend reading to me from a real book about a character named Really Kippers. (wha - ?)


Tuesday, October 9, 2007

the big 0-4




Tonight we had a little birthday lasagna and birthday cake and a nice family birthday party for my favorite four year old girl.


The loot: a big girl bike with training wheels (grandparental units), a Cinderella gown with "glass" slippers (Auntie Case and Uncle Joe), letters to paint and decorate with paint and decorations and an art caddy to carry said paints and decorations (Janette and Ken), Crayons and markers and an accordion (yours truly and daddy).


Mia asked Uncle Joe (U.J. as Papa calls him) if he could be her prince and bring her glass slipper to her. Casie saw to it that he was indeed her prince. Joe, you rock.

Monday, October 8, 2007

October, Gallbladder anxiety and birthdays

I love October. Mom's birthday was last weekend and we went to Taste of Springfield. Mia's birthday is tomorrow. It is getting cooler at night and fall is here. This weekend we are going to the pumpkin patch.

On a different note, tomorrow I am going to a consultation with the prospective remover of my offending gallbladder. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I know this is the right thing to do. I need to get it done. I will feel so much better. But ugh.

I'll make sure I post some good pumpkin and birthday pics for you all.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Checking in, and new hiaku throw down

We have continued to settle in to the new house. I have instituted a strict cleaning schedule to keep this place as neat as I can. Here is a photo of my son vaccuuming. It is his favorite thing to do and DEMANDS a turn whenever I bring it out.




Mia is coming up quickly on her 4th birthday. I can't believe what a big girl she is. I am so proud of her.


To continue our Hiaku fest: the subject is now Mom - (Virginia and not me).

Chernobyl? Chez P?
Chinese Aerobics, you say?
You wish we'd forget?

Grandma her hero
And to Quinn you are his GAAHH
Means so much this love

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Topic 2: Colleen


Explosion - laughter
Contagious. You can't resist.
What was funny now-?


Still when I think of
New York City I think of
You at Seventeen

Sunday, September 2, 2007

First Topic - Joe

Joe's recent blog post, avec Haiku has inspired me to throw down a Martell family blog challenge:

Post a haiku about the family member. First subject: my little bro Joe.

entry #1:
satellite of hair
he loves to think deep thoughts and
build huge nintendo

joe #2:
queen joe, not princess
table conversation that
makes Mia feel good

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Yo Gabba Gabba!

My name is Carla

I like to dance

Poor Rodent

Today Mia told me she was going to put her dirty clothes in the hamster.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Back on the air

It has been FOREVER since I posted, I know. But for anyone actually reading this (all four of you), I'll bet you understand. It has been a hell of a few months. When is it not, right? But holy crap it's been crazy here. When it rains it pours. I've been having deluges for a while.


Darin took a little unscheduled trip to California, leaving the day after Father's Day. While he was out there we put the house up for sale, thinking it would take at least until next Spring to go. HA! Eight days later we had a signed contract for our exact requested selling price. Cue the scramble to find a new place to live.


Finally we are all moved in to our new tiny duplex in Springfield. I have the best commute there ever was. My daily routine has been concentrated into about a two mile square area encompassing this rental unit and Cox hospital. Yay simplicity.

The move feels like a fresh start. I'm excited about it. The future is not set in stone quite yet but I do know that there are non negotiable changes afoot. It is one of those times that things get better, because they absolutely had to change.


Enough of all that. Who comes here to read my ramblings. What about Mia and Quinn?

Kid updates: Quinn is trying hard to talk. His favorite word today: "uppee dah" (puppy dog)

Mia just moved up to the "Fireflies" room at preschool - one more step on the ladder to kindergarten.














Sunday, July 15, 2007

Happy Birthday Baby







Today we had a party for Quinn's First Birthday. He dug right into that cupcake with no hint of hestiation.






Some pics!



Saturday, June 16, 2007

And in Honor of Father's Day


FLAT OUT - LOOK AT THESE BEAUTIES!



I can't resist it - just had to post a few pictures. Lots of transition going on right now, and there will be more time to write big thoughts once things settle down. But I will say, the kids keep it worth it.

Quinn is just a few weeks away from ONE year old. Sweet little baby boy! Where did our first year go? You are a big ray of sunshine in a small little package. The powers that be must know who needs some supernatural joy in their life because you exude it.

When you were about 3 days old, I was holding you watching you sleep. Out of nowhere your face curled up, mouth opened, and you let out a huge belly laugh. Never woke up, just yukking it up with your subconsious. I think you were born a jolly soul.

How sappy am I, this last few weeks of your first year? You and my best girl Mia are my life and I love you with every last part of me. I've never felt anything like it. It takes my breath away.




Thursday, May 31, 2007

Walking Skills, Car Crash, and Epiphany.


Quinn is officially a walking boy. He is so proud and so cute. If I hold his little hand and we go for a walk together through the house you would think I just hung the moon, the look on his face.


Fun!


Saturday morning I crashed my car into someone else. Completely my fault. My mind was a million miles away and I blew through a red light. Both kids in the car. What a wake up call. Everyone is okay, thank GOD.


It was the universe calling. Time to stop sleepwalking through life. Time to seize the moment and make some changes. My babies count on me not to be asleep at the wheel.


Stay tuned!




Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Fresh out of moral outrage here. Check back next month

Have been in a funk lately, as evidenced by my previous post. Nothing ground breaking. Just ugh. Lots a medium to little stuff rolled into one big ugh.

So I am ruminating before my databases the other morning when the office conversation (a rare event in itself) turns to the subject of a MSU professor who resigned this week upon his exposure as a registered sex offender. Turns out he was convincted twentysomething years ago of rape of a minor. RAPE OF A MINOR. He does not claim innocence, by the way. Just says he has put his life back together, walked the straight and narrow, paid his debt, etc etc.

Whether or not he keeps his academic job, I am deeply ambivalent about. Could not care less. There is a campus community there that needs to duke this one out amongst themselves. He is a sex offender; there are child care centers, a major private school, not to mention thousands of our state's young adults in the mix there.

One of my coworkers has many close university employee friends. All her comments on this case, which is all over our local news, center on how sad it is for this professor. "Award winning researcher and professor, forced to resign" is about a verbatim of the typical comment. Other coworker in 30's (there are only 3 of us) is all about condeming the reporter who first outed this guy to the public. Oh, he's getting depressed. I hope he can put his life back together. All because this guy who is such a joker outed him in the press. Both of these people just graduated from the MSU business school in the last few years.

Um. I am obnoxiously drawn to play the devil's advocate in matters great and petty. One of the reasons, I'm sure, I was such a JOY for my parents to hang out with when I was a righteously indignant teenager. In this case I found myself getting really irritated, not just inspired to poke at their opinions for sport.

The debate over this red lettering of sex offenders is a legitimate one. To me, the statistical reality of recidivism among these people is scientific proof that we need to be wary. Not paranoid, not stripping them of all civil rights, but wary. Felons forfeit certain rights.

Couple of crotchety thoughts to wrap this uP:

  • if this guy thought there would be no politics involved in his teaching at a public university as a registered rapist of a minor, he is not as smart as he seems.
  • would my coworkers be so outraged on behalf of some guy not so peerlike? Say, the black guy who sweeps the floor, never finished high school, raped a minor back in the day but now just wants to keep coming to school to sweep the floor; to have a chance to put his life back together? gimme a break.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

you'll wish I didnt bother to post


Officially we have made it through the horrible winter. We've been somewhat healthier as a group. Quinn is quickly approaching his first birthday and toddlerhood. I've lost my baby weight. We are settling into what is perhaps the first stretch of time since Darin and I have been together -- or at least certainly since I first found out I was pregnant with Mia -- that I can envision the horizon more than a few months away. We have been in survival mode since moving to Missouri: scrambling for a decent job, our next mortgage payment, etc. Now we are in a more or less reliable pattern of life. What a trip the last few years has been. holy crap.

The next two years: Darin will work at Solo on the night shift. I will work at the hospital. Mia will be in preschool; Quinn will be in daycare. In the landmark summer of 2009, Mia will be headed to kindergarten and Quinn to preschool. Big changes that year - stability in the plan until then.

It is going to be a hard sprint. Hard, but I am determined to take the time and appreciate the good. My babies will be growing up a lot in this time. Darin and I won't be seeing a ton of each other. We will be scraping every day to keep ourselves from sinking under the weight of our financial obligations and at the same time take care of our health, and try to remember to be patient and good to each other so that we may still like each other when times aren't so tight. If we work as hard as we can and everthing goes exactly right, our reward will be seemingly small: the family will stay together, in our house, reasonably healthy and not broke. No new cars, no nice clothes, no furniture, no vacations, no landscaping or remodelling, no fat savings account. Just a material breakeven as reward for the hardest work and most sacrifice I've done ever.

Don't get me wrong; I am so grateful. We've been luckier than many who are more deserving. My family is the best thing I've ever done, hands down.

I do have new empathy for people whose marriages fall apart, families are a mess, diets and exercise routines nonexistent. This responsible parenthood thing can be really hard, choices extremely limited, indulgences unheard of if not arriving in an ice cream carton. I talk to my coworkers more than I get to talk to my own husband. These are the type of years when women lose themselves and couples lose each other. I can see it there like the big ditch along highway N, a threat parallel to my path and easy to see.

My resolutions during these next few years of young motherhood:


  • Continue to lose weight, no matter how slow the process

  • play a lot with my kiddies, including in a bathing suit no matter what my vanity says

  • keep blogging - reminds me I do have my own brain and point of view. I almost forgot.

  • continue to set personal goals for myself. for myself and the example I'm setting.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

data analyst, data fatigue

I love many things about my accidental career as a data analyst, especially the part where I wind up working in the medical field.

But there are days.

Since I returned from CA there have not been many pressing projects for me, so I've spent time building templates and cruising the data, learning new ways of querying, etc. I do this with a medical code book in front of me, experimenting with criteria by diagnosis and by procedure.

After being exposed to all those thousands of medical cases, a few things:

1. Diabetes BAD.
2. Uncontrolled diabetes DOUBLY BAD.
3. Many people tempt fate with their lifestyle over many years. These people fill the files, and it really sucks to think how much of it could have been avoided.
4. A few others really do not, and that perhaps sucks even more.
5. There better be a special place in Hell for people who abuse little babies.
6. Some people in their nineties survive some crazy stuff, and roll out of there just dandy, thank you very much.
7. I love Wikipedia.
8. Surgery, like airplane flight, might be a big scary deal to you the consumer, but seen in the aggregate is impressive and reassuring in its routine success and professionalism.

Monday, April 16, 2007

bummer. but i'm over it.

I really thought a blog by me would be more clever observation, deep thoughts, etc, less "look how my kids are cute today." But c'est la vie. Or at least c'est ma vie.
I do have other things rolling around my brain. Perhaps one day inspiration will coincide with energy.
Meantime: Here are a few more pics. First, Grandpa and Mia coloring eggs on Easter Eve. Are they cute or what? Second, some Quinn. Phil and Colleen: I need a lesson on how to do cool photo montages like you guys.














Back to work in old Bethlehem

I've been trying to put my nose to the grindstone since being back from California. The universe has not exactly been cooperating. Quinn got as sick as I've ever seen him last week, and I wound up missing two days of work. UGH. I used up all my paid time off for the vacation. Just tempting fate, I know.

Today Mia had an appointment across the street from my building at 9:45 with an otalaryngologist (one of my very favorite English words. Say it three times fast. It will make you smile if you are as twisted as me). Darin took her, and after the appointment they came to meet me. By the way, her ears are fine. Fluid, but nothing to worry about.

As a trio we walked over the skywalk into the hospital to buy Mia one of the 60 cent frozen yogurts at the "Atrium Cafe." Hand in hand we passed Same Day Surgery, Radiology, then turned the corner towards the Labor and Delivery Unit-- the last section before hitting the Cafe. So I point out to Mia, "here is where Quinnie was born." "Why?" she asks. I answer, "Because this is the part of the hospital everyone comes to have their baby born." As loud as she can, in astonished voice: "BABY JESUS WAS BORN HERE?"

Sidelong glaces from nurses, passing members of public, geriatric visitors to same day surgery, no smiles. Not amused by heathen child. Brace yourselves, Bible belters. I unleash upon you my Godless brood.

We heap on the ignorance, upon the ignorance.

"No hon, baby Jesus was born far away and a long time ago."

"Well, my baby Jesus is in my tummy. She will come out when she is big enough."

What the heck to say? "Sweetie, if your baby is a girl, you should name her something else. Jesus is a boy's name." Long ago I gave up trying to argue with her about her pregnancy.

"NO! My baby Jesus is a girl."

"Okay, that's fine. Want some ice cream?"

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Aye aye

Mia to Quinn, as he is crawling around the house this afternoon:

"where ya goin, Captain Peter?"

Friday, April 6, 2007

Notes on the Trip




We are back from our great California adventure. It was exhausting, but well worth the effort. The kids were troopers I have to say. It must be hard to spend 6 days sitting, waiting, arriving in rooms full of grown ups talking about who knows what, getting no playtime, spending hours in the car, and eating the crappiest food you ever have. There was actually a point at the airport in Denver when I was feeding my 8 month old child KFC mashed potatoes and bits of a biscuit. Hello yuppie travellers, observe the ghetto mamma.

When you lose that jar of wholesome Gerber baby food and drop your last piece of Zweiback toast on the nasty floor of the terminal, I defy you to find anything better in the airport for your hungry little wannabe toddler. Yes, I suppose I am defensive.

Another bit of info that gives some insight into our trip: Quinn HATES the car. For anyone who knows the area you will appreciate that he screamed from Arden Fair mall in Sacramento CONTINUOUSLY until we passed Milk Farm Road in Dixon. I think we all hated each other by the time that little car ride from Hell finally came to an end at the outlet mall in Vacaville.

I think I'm done venting. Now for the happy observations.

Mia had the time of her life from day one, despite any trials of the road. From playing with her cousins at Norm's house to helping Tim cut strawberries for our dessert, she was a star. And man does that girl love to dance. She danced and danced at Matt's wedding till she literally dropped. I love it!

It was awesome to see the Maffeis again. I have been so out of touch with any friend I might have since we moved to Missouri. Sometimes I felt like I had nothing positive to say so I didn't call to say anything at all. And then Matt invites me to his wedding and Mark, Sandy, Gina, Andrew... they all just welcome my family into theirs like three years have not just gone by. It made me realize that as I get older I need to hang on to these people who I have essentially grown up with. It is a precious thing to be reminded where you came from. That you have bonds with people that are worth attending to. I'm happy to say I've got good people. Now I should keep in touch with them!

For weeks and weeks before the trip I was sick. Very sick and very overhwhelmed with being sick, being alone with the kids almost constantly, going to work, and doing it all on as little as two or three hours sleep. I had this respiratory infection I couldn't kick and an ear infection that migrated into all sinus cavities.

A couple of days before we left I broke down and called my mom and asked her for help.
My parents always say they don't want to intrude. I think they fear being the Ray Romano type of parents, always coming over and butting in. They are very busy, loathe be "pesky"or presumptive-- and self-sufficiency is a Martell family value-- nay, a religious principle. Perhaps as a result of all of these well meaning factors we go weeks without seeing each other. It is not automatic that I would call Grandma to ride to my rescue.

But ride she did! She came over after Darin went to work one night to help with kids so I could get some packing done. I was sick as a dog, burning with fever, numb from sinus pain, wracked with coughing, all horrible stuff. She sent me to bed at 7pm. Sweet glorious sleep! What a luxury, to lay in bed alone at 7pm. Holy Moly.

Thank you Mom. I have felt good for two weeks now. A record! I think it's because you gave me the gift of sleep and motherly concern. Can't remember the last time someone put their hand on MY forehead.

Pop over anytime! Bring that Grandpa guy too.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

California Here I Come....

I have been all abuzz lately, in preparation for getting the famiy to CA next week. So mnay details, from finances to clothing! Darin and I met and shopped together on my lunch hour today for the kids' dress up clothes, since today was the only day we had available together between now and when we leave. I can't wait. It will be nice to have a break from the normal grind for a little while. Although I have no illusions that it will be relaxing. I'll probably relax when I'm back at work.

Quinn is so close to standing up and walking. He is just all over the place lately. Pulling up on everything. Also he is eating a lot of table food already. Hates the baby food mush, wants anything he can grab on his own. All in a hurry to grow up!! He has started giving me big face hugs (grabs two handfuls of cheek and pulls), along with a big sloppy kiss when he sees me at the end of the day. He smiles and laughs and keeps patting me on the shoulder, touching his forehead to my chest.

It is my favorite part of the day.

After I pick him up from "the baby room" as Mia calls it, we head down to Mia's big kid playground to get her. We step out onto the playground and all the little girlfriends come running towards me, all vying for my attention, full of urgent news about their day. I make a point of getting to know the girls, asking good questions, noticing new clothes or hairdos. And they all call "KEENEY" (Quinn's nickname) and give him hugs when I crouch down to talk to them.

That is a close second.

What a rock star you can be as a mommy, if only until you get out to the car.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Spring is coming

My boss finally asked me when I plan to go to the doctor, as the entire staff has had enough of my coughing up lung tissue all day long, thank you very much. (that last part was implied...)

So I have an ear infection and a touch o the bronchitis. Yay! Thank heaven for the z pack.
Who gets ear infections at my age?

Two weeks from today the DeSilvas will be in sunny California. Occasion: to see my oldest friend Matt get married. I am really looking forward to the trip and to seeing the Maffei family again. They are the best and I am really happy for Matt. You know, today is his birthday. He is 31 years old. I can remember him calling me an old lady for a week when I turned 19. 19!! Wow, we are old friends.


Colleen, here is Mia's chalk portrayal of Darin, as promised. Please note the two-toned pants and the violent yellow chunks he is blowing.



(that is Auntie Casie with really LONG ARMS)

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Necessary Counterpoint (or, things I am glad Springfield HAS)

1. Panera
2. Dickerson Zoo
3. affordable housing
4. great (but affordable? not so much) daycare for the kids
5. my family
6. green things that grow
7. Frozen custard, yes. Good call Stephanie. :)
8. Proximity to Memphis, a place I plan to go to again
9. Extremely lax fireworks laws
10. Conservation Nature Center
11. a very cool downtown
12. Hammonds Field

Things I wish we had in Springfield

1. more vaguely un-religious people like myself
2. more diversity, duh
3. roads with SHOULDERS, not 1cm of pavement between you and a huge cavernous ditch
4. more than one mall
5. more than one Target
6. stucco instead of siding on standard houses
7. the ocean
8. a good farmer's market
9. non-religious programming on local stations on Sunday am (where are all my news shows?)
10. Good Mexican food
11. No tornadoes
12. Colleen and Phil (good call Colleen)
13. Hippies! Feminists! You've put your finger on it, Casie. Where ARE all these people?

Monday, March 5, 2007

Party like a four year old

Saturday it was about 34 degrees and snowing. Eleven a.m. found us at another princess-a-licious fourth birthday party, this time going down at a community center indoor pool, and this time with boys and girls.

A sign of where my life is right now: the chit chat with my fellow moms poolside was the most social fun I've had outside the family in months. I want to hug them all as we leave with our tantrumy toddlers.

One mom (mother of 4 year old gorgeous big sister to another beautiful 14 month old girl), tells me her husband passed away right before her baby was born last January. I've been thinking of her ever since. I've known her casually for 2 years and that I did not know this fact makes me ashamed of myself. In my memory I can still see her husband's car pulling up outside the daycare to drop off their daughter, one of the first little girls Mia met when she started daycare. We just went to their princess birthday party a month and a half ago. Daddy wasn't there and I just glossed right over that fact.

I spend a lot of time alone with my kids. Darin works a lot and sleeps a lot and perhaps just because I'm Mom, they are my only company for long periods of time. I love being with them, Mia's conversation and Quinn's drooly kisses / boogers left on my work shirts. There is no point in whining about the exhaustion. It is unrelenting and irrelevant. It goes without saying that the kids are worth it, they need me, and from me they will learn how to handle hard moments. I know one day I'll look back and this will all have gone by in a flash and that will make me sad. So when I get only two hours sleep because Quinn has a cough and Mia comes in loudly requesting a drink when he finally drifts off at 5am, I get mad at Darin for not being home or life in general and sometimes cry and I wonder when am I ever going to have time TO JUST CHILL OUT A SECOND. But I try not to wish any time away, and just go have a cup of coffee.

This is another reason I am ashamed when I think of my mommy friend from the princess party. She gets to do all that too, plus mourn for her future with her husband and her girls' future with their father. Every once in a while Darin and I get to share a laugh or a tear over the kids. The moments occur without warning and are gone in a flash. My mommy friend doesn't have anyone to share those flashes with.

Another mom, this one of a four year old sibling-less boy, was telling me about her decision to quit her job this year and stay at home. Her husband works six days a week for the postal service, swing shift. She was very talkative and all with the TMI, (like I imagine I always am!) and mentioned in midstream that it is lonely "but it will all be worth it one day."

Another mom told me that her husband had spent the day before fishing and that morning putting together some furniture. After a pause she says, totally in a cheery voice with a smile on her face: "yeah, he needs some alone time with that furniture. So he didn't come to the birthday party."

Are we all lonely? Darin spent most of that party with Mia in one arm, big sister whose dad is gone in the other, lifting their little faces out of the water and doing laps from one end of the pool to the other while they kicked and laughed.

What do you say?

Like I said, I wanted to give them all hugs when the swimming was over and our duties swung back into rhythm.

Of course the kids fell asleep on the way home.

Next weekend: Parker's 4th birthday party at the Discovery Center. see you there, ladies.


Thursday, March 1, 2007

Happy Birthday to our paterfamilias


35 years old and you don't look a day older than 25. So stinkin' unfair, my dear.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Shotguns in Winter?

As we all know, about a month and a half ago there was a nasty ice storm here in Springfield. The ice began to fall in the evening on a Friday in January. Colleen and Phil were in town. My parents came over that night, along with Joe and Casie and Colleen and Phil. We were all having dinner together, as we try to do when the siblings are all present in one metropolitan area.

Darin had to work that night at the plant, from 7pm to 7am, so he was out of there about 6pm, and my parents cut out early too. When the lights went out I was home with the kids and all the younger sibling folk. After a long while with no electricity, siblings all decided to go home before the roads got any worse.

Did I mention that the weather here in MO is insane? I arrived here three years ago (yipes!) in March and still, I do not pay attention. When Ted Keller, weatherman of my dreams, says get thee to a shelter, when offices empty at 3pm and people are either hunkered down at home or at the store buying spam, I don't even have clean pj's for my children or an accurate idea of where the flashlights are. So it is going to storm. It can't be a tornado since this is January. I have great fear of tornadoes, but not ice storms.

So I am alone with the kids in a very dark house for the night. No idea when the power will come back on. I think the biggest thing that struck me was the total silence from all of my household things. Not even the air in the vents moving. Outside it was extremely cold. I thought it might get chilly in the house by the time the power came back on, so I got Mia from her bed and tucked her in mine, along with Quinn.

The view from my bedroom windows looks out over most of Republic. We can see tons of houses rolling out to our south; to our southwest we can see the lights of both grocery stores in town. Before going to bed, I took a look out. Blackness. I could see the outlines of my neighbors' houses, with no light in any window. No sign of life or warmth in the whole scene. The sky looked huge and black and kept dumping sheets of ice down onto everything. I could hear it on the roof and on the walls. The houses of my neighborhood looked tiny. All this crazy weather comes rolling above it and it just blows my mind. Up till then it had been tornadoes I felt at the mercy of. Now immense coatings of ice covering everything. Our little vinyl clad boxes and strings of power lines. No match at all.

I laid there with a tiny kid on each side and stared at the ceiling. So quiet. Dark as a sack, as I like to say! Sounds of icy rain hitting the surfaces of the house and sticking there.

At some point I realized I was hearing periodic gunshots sounds outside. What the heck are these people doing? How could you go outside in this weather to cause a ruckus? Firecrackers? Shotguns? I just don't get these people. Get inside and bundle up! Yes, the cops probably can't come get you but aren't you FREEZING?

What I was listening to was all the trees splitting and cracking apart, for miles and miles around.

There was no power at our house until sometime Monday afternoon. By the time the men of the family had cobbled together a generator situation and was able to turn on some heat for brief, glorious stints in our house, you could see your breath in my living room.

I am SO READY FOR SPRING. Except that it is almost March, which since I've been in MO means tornadoes.

crunchy buns

coming from the bathroom after I sent Mia in there to brush her teeth tonight:

Hot crunch buns
hot crunch buns
one a penny
two a penny
three a penny
hot crunch buns

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

signing on

A million years I've been a devoted web surfer, reader of random blogs and just general online time waster. At last I meld that pastime with my habit of TMI.

I know you will be on the edge of your seat after this, my inaugural edition of a witty, insightful, and terribly diverting peek at my life. What's not to be enthralled with? Suddenly I'm a thirtysomething mom ensconced in a pleasant suburban home in the recent cow pasture we call our neighborhood. Most days I wake up at 5:30am with the kids and don't stop running till they are tucked in at 8:30 or so. I pick them up and drop them off; I sit in front of a PC for 9 hours or so analyzing things; I do dishes and laundry whenever I can; I give baths and wipe up all manner of my children's bodily eruptions. Not a lot of time for reflection in this routine but all the while an amazing thing is happening: I'm making a family, and all the mess that comes with it.

Let's start with the obvious. Pictures of the kids!