Officially we have made it through the horrible winter. We've been somewhat healthier as a group. Quinn is quickly approaching his first birthday and toddlerhood. I've lost my baby weight. We are settling into what is perhaps the first stretch of time since Darin and I have been together -- or at least certainly since I first found out I was pregnant with Mia -- that I can envision the horizon more than a few months away. We have been in survival mode since moving to Missouri: scrambling for a decent job, our next mortgage payment, etc. Now we are in a more or less reliable pattern of life. What a trip the last few years has been. holy crap.
The next two years: Darin will work at Solo on the night shift. I will work at the hospital. Mia will be in preschool; Quinn will be in daycare. In the landmark summer of 2009, Mia will be headed to kindergarten and Quinn to preschool. Big changes that year - stability in the plan until then.
It is going to be a hard sprint. Hard, but I am determined to take the time and appreciate the good. My babies will be growing up a lot in this time. Darin and I won't be seeing a ton of each other. We will be scraping every day to keep ourselves from sinking under the weight of our financial obligations and at the same time take care of our health, and try to remember to be patient and good to each other so that we may still like each other when times aren't so tight. If we work as hard as we can and everthing goes exactly right, our reward will be seemingly small: the family will stay together, in our house, reasonably healthy and not broke. No new cars, no nice clothes, no furniture, no vacations, no landscaping or remodelling, no fat savings account. Just a material breakeven as reward for the hardest work and most sacrifice I've done ever.
Don't get me wrong; I am so grateful. We've been luckier than many who are more deserving. My family is the best thing I've ever done, hands down.
I do have new empathy for people whose marriages fall apart, families are a mess, diets and exercise routines nonexistent. This responsible parenthood thing can be really hard, choices extremely limited, indulgences unheard of if not arriving in an ice cream carton. I talk to my coworkers more than I get to talk to my own husband. These are the type of years when women lose themselves and couples lose each other. I can see it there like the big ditch along highway N, a threat parallel to my path and easy to see.
My resolutions during these next few years of young motherhood:
The next two years: Darin will work at Solo on the night shift. I will work at the hospital. Mia will be in preschool; Quinn will be in daycare. In the landmark summer of 2009, Mia will be headed to kindergarten and Quinn to preschool. Big changes that year - stability in the plan until then.
It is going to be a hard sprint. Hard, but I am determined to take the time and appreciate the good. My babies will be growing up a lot in this time. Darin and I won't be seeing a ton of each other. We will be scraping every day to keep ourselves from sinking under the weight of our financial obligations and at the same time take care of our health, and try to remember to be patient and good to each other so that we may still like each other when times aren't so tight. If we work as hard as we can and everthing goes exactly right, our reward will be seemingly small: the family will stay together, in our house, reasonably healthy and not broke. No new cars, no nice clothes, no furniture, no vacations, no landscaping or remodelling, no fat savings account. Just a material breakeven as reward for the hardest work and most sacrifice I've done ever.
Don't get me wrong; I am so grateful. We've been luckier than many who are more deserving. My family is the best thing I've ever done, hands down.
I do have new empathy for people whose marriages fall apart, families are a mess, diets and exercise routines nonexistent. This responsible parenthood thing can be really hard, choices extremely limited, indulgences unheard of if not arriving in an ice cream carton. I talk to my coworkers more than I get to talk to my own husband. These are the type of years when women lose themselves and couples lose each other. I can see it there like the big ditch along highway N, a threat parallel to my path and easy to see.
My resolutions during these next few years of young motherhood:
- Continue to lose weight, no matter how slow the process
- play a lot with my kiddies, including in a bathing suit no matter what my vanity says
- keep blogging - reminds me I do have my own brain and point of view. I almost forgot.
- continue to set personal goals for myself. for myself and the example I'm setting.
2 comments:
I have many of the same goals and will encourage you the whole way...you'll make it! And don't be afraid to ask for help :)
tahnk you Casie. you are the best.. the blog entry was a big fat downer but that is what I feel like of late. perhaps less fat. :)
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